Mother's Day Revisited

SusanRose - May 09, 2008

I've been thinking more about Mother's Day. Last week I wrote, mostly out of anger about war and mothers being asked to send their children off to fight. This week I've been thinking about the happy and sad aspects of Mother's Day for me.

The sad part is that my mother died in 1989 so I can no longer celebrate with her, honor her, or share my life with her. I miss my mom and wish I could tell her about my life and about her grandchildren. I wish I could tell her how much more I've appreciated her parenting since I've been a mother. Now I better understand the gap between what I wish I could do as a mother and what I have actually been able to do. That perspective has replaced a lot of the criticisms I had as a teenager!

I have great appreciation for what my mother brought to my life. She instilled in me a strong sense of social justice and the need to take action. My caring about people and treating people with respect for their inherent worth and dignity were enhanced by watching my mother care and interact with people so respectfully.

And my happiness at being a mother. I know parenting is not for everyone and some people struggle to become parents. I feel grateful to have my two children in my life. As my daughter prepares to go to college this fall and my son is completing his first year of college, I will find myself with a different set of parenting responsibilities. I'm looking forward to that change with my both excitement and some worry as to what it will be like.

As I watch my children go through their lives I am so pleased, and able to feel I must have done at least a few good things in parenting them. They are each wonderful, caring people who are fully engaged with the world and I think the world is better for their being in it.

I'm looking forward to spending Mother's Day with them, pleased they'll join me for the peace vigil and we'll have some time together. I like being my kids' mother.

What does Mother's Day bring for you?

Molleen on May 10 2008 -- On Mother's Day, the local museum is hosting a family day if hands-on art events for the children. Various organizations involved with nontraditional families -- e.g. interracial families, adoptive families -- have been invited to set up tables at the event. My PFLAG chapter was invited to set up a table.

I thought, "What better way to spend Mother's Day than fulfilling my responsibility as a mother?", so I will be one of the people staffing the table. I told my daughter and her partner-- both very hard-working activists-- that the best gift they could give me would be to sleep late for a change! ;)

Kim Bogue on May 10 2008 -- It's funny how the little things my Mom would say to me will pop up as even more relavant long after the time they were meant. When she sent me off to elementry Schol she would kiss me (leaving Bright pink lips on my check) and say 'Ask Lots of Questions.It only took one ribbing for me to remember every morning to wipe the kiss mark off my cheek before I hit the bus stop,nor have I forgotten that there is always more to the story and should always ask more questions from the teller. Invalueable considering todays media coverage.

At about the same age, a friend and I were riding double (I on the front fender) when two boys tried to take the bike from us. I punched one of them and we 'escaped'. although my fther 'taught' all us girls to box, fighting was a 'no no' , I cried and confessed to my Mother I ahd Hit a boy. Seh smiled an dlaughed and said 'You have every right to defend yourself'. In my '20's two guys at a party tried to asasult me- I escaped but only to be taunted once back amongst my group of friends,'She loved loved every minute'- I broke his nose with a left hook (thanks Mom & Dad!)He never expected it, never saw it coming and never bothered me again!
After I moved to Califoria on my 24 and there is so much more Advaenture- things got tough financially. I discussed my living situation dilemma with my mother by phone. Her words'You always have options, you just have to figure out what they are'.I could write a dissertation on how many times that has helped me and inspired me throughout my life.
There have been many more little words of wisedom my mother, who never makes claim to her own level of intellegence and insight , has given me and everytime one of thee or another pops up in my head, in her voice, I Thank her. Her response is always "I said That?"

Mother

SusanRose - May 03, 2008

Mother's Day was started by Julia Ward Howe as a time for mothers to band together protesting their sons being sent off to war. That need is as great today as it was in 1870.

With the unpopularity of the US wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the US Military is going to incredible extremes to engage mothers to encourage their sons and even daughters to enlist. A couple of month's ago, I was going through Boston's South Station -- the main transportation hub of the city. I was totally aghast, disgusted, saddened, that every single billboard in the station, and there were many, was from the US Navy, advertising NavyforMoms.com. The tagline on them all is "You gave them the values. We give them the opportunity."

It makes me angry that mothers are targeted by the Navy, telling them that encouraging their child to join the Navy is a way to give their child an opportunity to live out the values she taught him or her. And it saddens me, I have trouble understanding that that advertising gets the results the Navy is looking for. Why is that? I don’t understand it.

I went to the website and there are over 1,500 registered users on the site. From what I could tell, it is mostly mothers giving each other support, although it is clearly run by the Navy and there is an administrator who plain out tells you your posts can be removed. I tried to find a forum for mothers of children who have died in service to the Navy, and couldn't find such a section.

I'm glad to know that there are other mothers and family members who support each other too. The Gold Star Families for Peace group has been very instrumental in much of the work to bring these wars to an end. Hearing the stories of these people who are so deeply affected by war, along with the testimonies of military personnel speaking out against the war are a big part of what gives me hope that change can be made.

Their website tells us:

We as families of soldiers who have died as a result of war (primarily, but not limited to the invasion/occupation of Iraq) are organizing to be a positive force in our world to bring our country's sons and daughters home from Iraq, to minimize the "human cost" of this war, and to prevent other families from the pain we are feeling as the result of our losses. We are also hoping to be lifetime support for each other through our losses.

PURPOSE

• To bring an end to the occupation of Iraq.
• To be a support group for Gold Star Families.

WAYS TO ACHIEVE OUR PURPOSE:

• Provide support and to empower those who have been victimized by the invasion/occupation of Iraq.
• Raise awareness in the United States about the true human costs of the invasion/occupation of Iraq.
• Reach out to families who have lost a loved one as a result of war.

For Mother's Day, on May 11th this year, I'm going to ask my 2 children to join me in the Common for the weekly vigil that happens there. I don't usually go on Sundays, but this year, that will feel right to me. And I know that my mother, who has been dead for many years, would be pleased that this is what I will do, this is what her grandchildren will do. (She wouldn't be pleased that protesting is still so necessary, but when it is, that's what you do.)

And I will take some comfort in the words of Julia Ward Howe who ended her Mother's Day Proclamation:

In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask
That a general congress of women without limit of nationality,
May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient
And the earliest period consistent with its objects,
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions,
The great and general interests of peace.

You can find the entire piece on the Women's History website, run by the Leader of the Northern Virginia Ethical Society, Jone Johnson Lewis.

You can also take a look at www.NavyforMoms.com.

What will you be doing for Mother's Day? Are you a mother? Are you visiting your mother, or remembering your mother? We invite you to share your thoughts with us.

Herbert Herman on May 06 2008 -- In the business I operate, I find many young men between the ages of 17 and 20,applying for work. They are school drop outs with little or no training. Their home-family life is dysfunctional rejects them and offers no support. Drugs, alcohol, what they call, "hanging out" occupies much of their time. They are easy prey for military recruiters particularly since few understand the events in the world. The US is failing the youth. They are easily influenced